Divorce was not my plan 26 years before it happened when I married. Nor was losing myself by trying again and again to make my spouse happy. I felt like a failure.
Only after banging my head against the proverbial wall repeatedly did I realize that her happiness was not my responsibility. This was true, even though I was her husband and the two of us were one. The Balanced Presence in our relationship needed me to be a balanced self.
So, I stopped trying to fix her and discovered a new balance within my own idiosyncratic self. This led me to the path of being a better father for my children. It led me to realize that staying in an abusive marriage was the worst thing I could demonstrate for my children. I shuddered to think about a future with my daughters feeling like they needed to remain stuck in a violent relationship with an abusive husband!
I found the courage to be free. It wasn’t easy. I never understood many things before then. I’ve grown from that time forward, and am still maturing in the ways I see things much differently. Much of this is shared and discovered by individuals in our training, consultation and counseling.
Seeing things in new ways leads to the opportunity to engage in new ways of being. New ways of being leads to fresh insight. Insight often leads to a whole new life. Ironically, I have been on a journey through unplanned emotional, social, physical and soulful pain. Wholeness out of Brokenness is what I have discovered.
Wholeness from Brokenness is what I believe leads to recovery of soul. This is what I feel called to share with my wounded neighbors who share the human condition. It isn’t for everyone. Not everyone recognises they have been wounded, or is willing to explore their emotional pain. Many people, in fact, prefer to avoid the pain. It’s a normal habit to keep things broken swept under the proverbial carpet. I sometimes pretend that, “I’m fine!”. But, wholeness comes when I explore the possibility of seeing things differently. Some of us are on the path to a new life of wholeness.
To those few, I say, welcome home!
A Balanced Presence: Wholeness out of Brokenness